“Wherever You Go, There You Are”

Today, I was going through my email when I happened to come across this article by Barb Wade. I absolutely felt compelled to share this with you. Negative self-talk is, in my opinion, the #1 killer of HOPE! – Beckie

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 OK, I’m going to tell it to you straight.  The biggest impediment to achieving what’s most important to you is between your ears.

The self-talk that we give ourselves is a running dialogue that is the most significant influence with regards to what we accomplish, and ALSO our entire quality of life.

I used to give myself constant messages of fear and “not enough.”  I remember being an actress and starring on an NBC sitcom in my 20s, and even then I was always in fear about whether I was good enough, whether they were regretful they hired me, and when the other shoe was going to drop and I would be released from my contract.

 What kind of a way was that to live when I was doing something many people would die for?

But no amount of externals can override what we tell ourselves internally.  It’s a fact.  Even if you change your circumstances (new job, new mate, etc.) your mind and the way it operates is still right there.

And how do you suppose you show up in life when your running dialogue is “you’re not (good, smart, worthy) enough, you’re not loveable, you’re behind in what you’re accomplishing, you never get things right, you’re going to be ‘found out’ and rejected,” etc. etc.?

I’ll tell you.  You show up on shaky ground.  You show up trying to pull off a persona that other people will approve of convinced the real you will lead to disaster.  You show up insecure, riddled with fear, and giving your power away to everyone else to decide if you’re worthy.

UGH.  It’s painful just to type that because I remember that phase of my life so viscerally. (Deep breath…).

So what’s the answer?  Well, let me warn you first that it takes practice.  You didn’t learn to be so self-critical overnight, and rewiring that takes a commitment.  But it will absolutely change your life – I know it did mine.

The solution, of course, is to develop self-compassion.  To cultivate a loving inner voice to be your ally when you need to feel uncomfortable feelings (sadness, regret, fear) so that those can pass through you., To develop a fierce inner advocate when you need to speak your truth and take risks.

The easiest way to start is to think of someone dearly whom you love more than you can put into words (a child in your life is very effective).  Imagine this child grown up and coming to you with the same messages “I really screwed up today, I’m so angry at myself, maybe I’m just not cut out for this (their dream), now people are going to think (fill in the blank).”

I KNOW without a doubt that you would give them messages of soothing.  You’d remind them the truth of who they are. You’d be present for their disappointment, but with unconditional love.  And you’d tell them that those thoughts are not true – they can and will achieve what they want.  They’re beautiful, inside and out.  They’re immensely capable. You’d prize their courage and tenacity.

Now the thing you have to practice is saying these messages to yourself – because that’s what you deserve, too (even ask yourself what you’d say to ____ in the same situation).  You can imagine these messages of unbounded support for yourself as coming from a deep inner wisdom or what you might call your “higher self.”  However you conceptualize it is fine.

At first, expect the negative voices to come up, because that’s what you’re used to.  But as soon as you notice, ask yourself “what would love say?” as I’ve described above. The more and more you practice, the shorter the time will become between the negative voice and replacing it.  Eventually, the negative voice will actually arise fairly rarely in the first place, and the messages of self-love and support will be your default!

Commit to trying this the very next time you’re in self-shaming and fear. (Even committing to this new practice is already an act of self-support).   And then really do it. I mean really do it as if your life depended on it.

Because it actually does.

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This article is reprinted with permission: Business Coach & Mentor Barb Wade specializes in teaching entrepreneurs how to make more money more easily while enjoying a business and lifestyle that reflects their priorities. Download Barb’s “Word-for-Word Scripts To Overcome Objections” and book more high-paying clients now at www.BarbWade.com.

2016: I Am Ready to Live My Best Life!

"Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation." - Brian Tracy

I am taking bold action and putting out to the Universe my 2016 Intention and Declaration Statement.

"I, Beckie Jorgensen, hereby in this moment on January 1 4, 2016 surrender my past. I am open and ready to receive right now LOVE, JOY, PEACE and GRATITUDE. I BELIEVE in me; my potential, my strengths, and my higher PURPOSE & MISSION in LIFE. I am WORTHY of abundance and success."

My purpose in life is to inspire, serve and lead others to be their best selves. I help people to discover their own purpose so that they never give away their passions, dreams and HOPE!

“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.”

- Sonia Ricotti

What is your 2016 Intention and Declaration Statement? Feel free to comment and share! Let's hold each other accountable for achieving our best life starting right now! 

To learn more, check out my new book: Live Your Life ~ The Art of Leveraging Your Strengths to Live Your Purpose.

H.O.P.E.

"Hope is a beautiful thing. It gives us peace and strength, and keeps us going when all seems lost. Accepting what you cannot change doesn't mean you have given up on hope. It just means you have to focus your hope on more humanely tangible and attainable goals." -
Julie Donner Andersen, What My Widowed Husband Has Taught Me

Every day, I wear a ring engraved with the word “Hope” on it. It is my reminder of my mission and purpose in life, “to inspire others to never give away their passions, dreams or hope!” Life throws many challenges our way and, for some, these challenges slowly chip away at our dreams, passions and hope. The emotional and physical toll of hopelessness eventually wears people out to the point where they lose all sense of purpose in life. But, there is hope!

I define HOPE as follows:

H – Happiness

O – Opportunity

P – Purpose

E – Excellence

In preparation for writing this article, I read Blogs, book excerpts, and journal articles on the scientific and psychological theories of hope. There is a lot of reading to be found, but not one magical answer! Rather, there is a contrast of agreement and disagreement between various theories, philosophies, and other research.

 In 1991, positive psychologist Charles R. Snyder and his colleagues came up with the Hope Theory. Hope was defined as the perceived capability to derive pathways to desired goals, and motivate oneself via agency thinking to use those pathways. Hope Theory defines goals, pathways, and agency as: 

• Goals – Approaching life in a goal-oriented way.
• Pathways – Finding different ways to achieve your goals.
• Agency – Believing that you can instigate change and achieve these goals.

Hope comes from within. It is developed from your thoughts, which drive your actions. In the study of Positive Psychology, there is a strong case between knowing and using your innate strengths, rather than focusing on your weaknesses, to foster and develop hope. From my own experiences and interpretation of research, I believe this:

People, who can create clear mental pictures of what they want in life, will create attainable goals to go after what they want, and will use their innate strengths to achieve it! - Beckie Jorgensen

Hopelessness is not a character flaw or inherent genetic state. It is directly related to the way you think and from past experiences. The good news is that hope can be learned and developed and the state of hopelessness can be erased. But in order to do that, we as "human beings" need to

(1) increase our self-awareness,

(2) identify and accept our natural born talents,

(3) take action to use and practice our talents to developed them into strengths, and

(4)

intentionally program our minds to create hopeful thoughts that motivate us to set and achieve our desired goals.

As the Holidays approach and 2015 comes to a close, here are some tips to setting your 2016 goals.

• Set a goal because it is something you really want, not what others expect of you.
• Make goals that stretch you, but are attainable using your strengths.
• Chart out A-B-C paths to each of your goals.
• When one path does not work, do not blame yourself. Move on to the next charted course.
• Practice talking to yourself using positive words, reducing negative self-talk and/or limiting beliefs.
• View problems as “opportunities” to learn and grow.
• Recall earlier successes in your life and what specifically did you say to yourself, think or do to achieve that success.
• Involve others to gain support and hold you accountable for reaching your desired goals.

 Hope is an invaluable gift to have and to share. Wear your hope proudly and serve others. Smile at a stranger, give a hug, speak words of kindness, express gratitude or lend a helping hand. You never know how one simple, intentional act can impact and give hope back to an otherwise hopeless person.

Here is to a HOPE FILLED 2016!

"You can make positive deposits in your own economy every day by reading and listening to powerful, positive, life-changing content and by associating with encouraging and hope-building people." – Zig Ziglar

Need help identifying your innate strengths or setting your 2016 goals? To learn more, visit: www.beckiejorgensen.com.

Discovering Your Purpose In Life

Is She Really Just a Daydreamer? The Truth Be Told

“Stop daydreaming,” my mom said. “Pay attention,” my teachers said.

Growing up, these directives were often given to me. I never really understood why I was considered a “daydreamer,” and as a child, I perceived those words as criticism. I often found myself sitting and just staring into space dreaming about “what could be.” Until, someone or something jolted me back to present moment awareness.

It was not until much later in my adult life that the truth was revealed. What I did not know then that I know now is that daydreaming was, in essence, my talents showing up in the rawest form. Meaning that I had not yet learned to appropriately regulate or develop my talents for productive use. Let’s face it, daydreaming can be quite therapeutic for oneself, but perceived by others as you lacking focus, being preoccupied, or having “your head in the clouds.”

In 2014, I took StrengthsFinder, which identified my top 5 dominant talents as Strategic, Maximizer, Responsibility, Futuristic, and Positivity. A few months later, I received my full report of all 34 talent themes in rank order. In my top 12 talent themes, I have Learner (#6), Ideation (#9) and Input (#12).

So what is the significance of this information as it relates to daydreaming? Everything. To help you better understand, I am going to provide a simple definition of each of these talent themes as reported by StrengthsFinder.

• Strategic – people who are especially talented in the Strategic theme create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues.
• Maximizer – people who are especially talented in the Maximizer theme focus on strengths as a way to stimulate personal and group excellence. They seek to transform something strong into something superb.
• Responsibility – people who are especially talented in the Responsibility theme take psychological ownership of what they say they will do. They are committed to stable values such as honesty and loyalty.
• Futuristic – people who are especially talented in the Futuristic theme are inspired by the future and what could be. They inspire others with their visions of the future.
• Positivity – people who are especially talented in the Positivity theme have an enthusiasm that is contagious. They are upbeat and can get others excited about what they are going to do.
• Learner – people who are especially talented in the Learner theme have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve. In particular, the process of learning, rather than the outcome, excites them. 
• Ideation – people who are especially talented in the ideation theme are fascinated with ideas. They are able to find connections between seemingly disparate phenomena.
• Input – people who are especially talented in the Input theme have a craving to know more. Often they like to collect and archive all kinds of information.

So, here is my simple formula to relate my talents to the topic at hand:

Strategic + Futuristic + Learner + Ideation + Input = Daydreamer

(or better term "THINKER")

I am a thinker. Not just any thinker. A thinker of future possibilities! My mind’s eye paints clear pictures of a better future and I sort through information, options, experiences and data in my head to create a clear path in order to turn dreams, whether my own or someone else’s, into reality. These are my natural born gifts. 

Have either one of these scenarios ever happened to you?

1. You are driving home from work. You are on the same route you drive every day. You know exactly where you are going and how to get there. But, today, you happened to miss your exit. All of a sudden you realize that you have been driving way to long and that you are 2 exits past the one you were supposed to get off. Your reaction, “Huh? How did I do that?”
2. You are sitting at your desk thinking about a problem and devising up a solution in your mind. You find yourself staring out the window. Your eyes are fixated on a particular spot, but it is not the tree or brick wall you actually see. In fact, you see nothing at all. But, if a colleague were to walk into your office and look at you, they would assume you are staring out the window at something very specific. He or she may even ask you, “What do you see out there?” Abruptly you come back to reality and embarrassingly respond, “Oh, um, nothing…I was just thinking about….”

If you experience these moments like I do, I am sure you can think of a hundred more scenarios of where you caught yourself or have been caught daydreaming. But the lesson taught here is this:

Learn to put your daydreaming to productive use and, BAM, you can visualize and devise innovative, creative and solution-focused ways of doing things for a better tomorrow, a better future, or even a better World!

Now that is TALENT turned into STRENGTH!

Ever been criticized for doing something over and over again, but yet never really understood why? It may very well be an underlying talent that could hold the key to your greatest potential for success! Want to learn more, please visit www.beckiejorgensen.com.

“We all possess innate talents. We all have a unique calling. When we tap into our talents and develop them into strengths, we transform our lives to be the best of who we were born to be!” – Beckie Jorgensen

Choosing a Path with Purpose

In life, there are 3 paths to travel.

1. The path of who others expect you to be.
2. The path of who you wish you could be.
3. The path of power, self-love, and purpose.

We choose which path to walk based on our thoughts, feelings, and own perception of self. The reality is, if we don’t love, value and accept ourselves, we are less likely to walk the path that leads to success, fulfillment, happiness, and purpose.

"The more you can be true to your authentic self, the more your life’s purpose and joy will follow you. You won’t even have to pursue it! Whereas the more you try to be someone you are not, the more your purpose will allude you, and you will be spending your life feeling joyless, pursuing something that you are not, while feeling like you have failed. Your only work is to be as YOU as you can be!” – Anita Moorjani

Path #1: You have no identity, are insecure, and lack recognition of your self-worth. Therefore, the only direction to go is on the road others pathed for you with no compass, no sense of direction, and no purpose.

Path #2: As you walk alongside a river, you see a reflection in the water looking back at you that you don’t like. You focus on your weaknesses, not your strengths. You travel the rocky road searching for ways to reinvent who you are. This path, ultimately, turns you around in circles only to lead back to where you started.

Path #3: Past challenges, life experiences, and disappointments have made you stronger. On your journey, you came to a fork in the road where you had to make a choice. You decided to take the path less traveled. The adventure re-ignites your hope and the freedom of choice to chart a different course gives you a sense of direction and purpose.

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” – Mark Twain

Regardless of which path you are on today, if you are not happy and do not love yourself, you can change directions. It is never too late to chart a new course in your life. But, it is a choice only you can make.

As a Certified Strengths Coach, I help guide people on their own journey of discovering their uniqueness, accepting and loving themselves, and developing a roadmap to chart a course to achieve fulfillment, happiness, and a life of true purpose.

POEM: The Power of ME

In many of my posts, I talk about discovering your innate talents, turning them into strengths, and discovering your purpose in life. I have walked you through my own journey of discovering who I am, what I do, and why I do what I do. I have done this by walking you through my own life story and writing about scenes of my life where internal and external struggles have taken me into a dark pit. I make connections to memories of past successes and how the power of persistence helped me crawl out of the pit on a search for solutions. And, most importantly, I teach you how my search led to discovering my own strengths which pathed the way to my breakthrough moment in life. But, today, I want to pause for a moment to address a fundamental part of this journey, self-acceptance.

The path of learning, inner-growth, and discovering your life purpose is a long winding road. One that never really ends as every new day brings with it different experiences, challenges, bumps in the road, and transitions. It can take years of self-observation, investing in coaching, practicing mindfulness and meditation, and inner awareness to truly acknowledge your innate gifts and accept who you really are. The truth of the matter, my friends, is that not everyone achieves this state of clarity ever in their lifetime.

“Self-acceptance is an invitation to stop trying to change yourself into the person you wish to be, long enough to find out who you really are.” – Robert Holden

When I speak about self-acceptance, I don’t mean liking some things about who you are and dismissing the rest. I don’t mean suppressing your weaknesses and pretending they don’t exist. True self-acceptance is about loving all of you inside and out.

This is by no means an easy task. In fact, it can be very painful. Those of you, who follow my Blogs, read my social media posts, and consider me your friend or colleague know I come from a heart-centered place. My consistent and authentic message is to inspire you and others to never give away your passions, dreams or hope. This is my personal value statement and my purpose in life.

But, self-acceptance is an area of struggle for me too. Despite all that I have shared openly, the path to success has not been straight and narrow. It has had it curves, turns, and detours along the way. To be perfectly honest, it continues, even today, to be that way. I can gain clarity, confidence and calm in one direction only to veer slightly and find myself driving down a road of fear, self-doubt, and frustration. I discover I am lost, have no sense of direction, and need to decide if I am going to stop to ask for help.

Take a moment to remember a time when you were lost. Metaphorically, a time when your GPS failed you? Despite your passenger begging you to turn around, you spent several minutes, maybe even hours, driving around and around? Yet, you were so determined that you could find your way, you refused to stop and ask for directions.

I hope in this very moment as you continue to read on, you have a slight smile on your face, let out a chuckle or paused to reminisce at a time when you too experienced this.

My point in yet another story is to share a poem that I wrote last night as I was contemplating my own journey and the day to come. It is a subtle reminder that can be read over and over again to help achieve the true desire of self-acceptance. It is a gift not only to me, but to share with you too. Visibly post it, read it daily and…if you really like it, please click like, comment, or share. Enjoy!

“Today, I choose MY life. Not what you think it should be, want it to be or expect it to be.

Today, I choose ME. Not who you want me to be, think I should be or expect me to be.

Today, I AM me.

The REAL me!

The me I was BORN to be.

Nobody can TAKE me away from me.

Today is the first step to FREE me.

It is the only step forward to BE.

Without the real me, I am useless. With the real me, I am LIMITLESS.

I AM ME.”

– ©2015, Beckie Jorgensen