THE TRUTH ~ Myth #3: I MUST STRIVE TO BE WELL-ROUNDED

Once upon a time, the animals came together and founded a school with six subjects: swimming, crawling, running, jumping, climbing, and flying. At first the duck was the best swimmer, but she wore out the webs of her feet in running class, and then couldn’t swim as well. The dog was the best runner, but he crashed in flying class and injured his leg. The rabbit started out as the best jumper, but he fell in climbing class and hurt his back. At the end of the school year, the class valedictorian was the eel, who could do a little bit of everything, but nothing very well. (Andrea Sigetich and Carol Leavitt, MBA. Play to Your Strengths. New Jersey. The Career Press, 2008).

It is a deep rooted belief in our society that being well-rounded is the greatest path to success. But, what is forgotten in that philosophy is that, as complex human beings, we all have weaknesses. In my recent post, THE TRUTH ~ Myth #2: I MUST FIX MY WEAKNESSES; I came head-to-head with this universal truth.

I will not argue that at a young age, we need to be exposed to a variety of things. Sports, education, religion, music, art, boy/girl scouts, family traditions…the list goes on. But, the expectation that we should or will excel at everything is unrealistic. Rather, exposure to a variety of activities and experiences growing up tells us one thing – what are our strengths and what our weaknesses are!

As time goes on, we mature and develop our talents. We understand what we are good at and what we are not good at. We should feel no remorse or regret over our limitations. Yet, societal pressure calls upon us to focus our time and energy on fixing our weaknesses so that we become well-rounded.

The definition of well-rounded is, “someone who is skilled, capable or knowledgeable in a lot of different things”, that I can live with! But, when growing up, at least from my own experience, that was not the intentwhen people spoke about being well-rounded. The intent or message was, “in order to be successful, you must perfect yourself in all areas of life.”

Perfectionism! And, oh boy, did I try. I was in sports, went to girl scouts, attended catechism, studied hard in high school, worked at an early age at my parent’s business, went on to college, furthered my education with Graduate school, kept a clean house and learned to cook, read books, took personality/character assessments to learn about myself, read self-help books, kept to-do lists, created goals, …. All with one goal in mind – to be perfect!

UH-OH!

I suck at math, have no sense of direction, can’t read a map, am a horrible singer, don’t play a musical instrument, not artistically (painting/drawing) talented, and get bored with routine, methodical tasks. I drove my family nuts trying to overcompensate for my weaknesses and be perfect! As a young adult, I was labeled by those who knew me as a “perfectionist.” But, this belief that I had to be well-rounded, meaning excellent at everything, wasn’t what I learned from those closest to me growing up…it was from a much larger influence. It was based on what I read in magazines and books, watched on TV, learned from educators, and “what I heard to be true.”

Not only did I drive everyone around me crazy, but I drove myself nuts too! In actuality, it took me having my child to stop the “spin cycle.” I was exhausted trying to be “all that,” a wife, mom, daughter, sister, successful career professional…and “do it all to perfection.” Something had to give! I finally realized that I could not be perfect!

Success is not about being well-rounded or perfect; it is about clearly identifying our strengths and leveraging them to be the best of who we were born to be! It isacceptance of both our strengths and weaknesses.

One year and 7 months ago, I took StrengthsFinder and engaged in coaching to learn how to align my strengths to my personal and professional life. It was, by far, the best investment of my life. The insight and clarity, confidence and calm that filled my soul transformed my life. I felt as if the “weight of the world” was lifted off my shoulder. For the first time, I accepted ME!

Identifying, accepting, and intentionally using our strengths every day, and managing around our weaknesses, are the absolute keys to our success! The emotional and physical benefits are joy, happiness, fulfillment, success and HOPE!

H – Happiness
O – Opportunity
P – Purpose
E – Excellence

Are you ready to find fulfillment? Are you ready to create a roadmap to play to your strengths?

“When you play to your strengths, you may not be well-rounded, but you will be extraordinarily successful!” – Excerpt from the book, Play to Your Strengths

And might I add, happy, confident, and filled with a sense of PURPOSE! My friends, it is time to get on the bus. If you are ready to join the Strengths Revolution, I am here to coach, train, and guide you every step of the way!

Forget about being well-rounded; just learn to be the BEST of whom you were born to be!”

– Beckie Jorgensen, Certified Strengths Coach

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THE TRUTH ~ Myth #1: I SUCK! I AM NOT GOOD AT ANYTHING!

“You suck! You are not good at anything! You will never amount to anything! You have no talents!” 

-OR-

“I suck! I am not good at anything! I will never amount to anything! I have no talents!”

How many times have you heard people say this? How many people in your life have told you this? How many times have you said this to yourself? Well, what if I told you - scientifically, this is simply, humanly NOT TRUE?

You may respond,

“Yeah Right!” 

“Whatever!”

Do I have your attention yet?

Before you read on, please take a moment to STOP everything you are doing. Please do not bypass this step.

Take three deep breaths. As you breathe in, I want you to feel the energy of air filling your lungs. As you breath out, I want you to release any negative emotion or thought for the moment. Repeat 3 times…

Now, you have permission to read on…

If you are reading this right now, you are ALIVE and have a BRAIN, which means you are GOOD at something and that you have TALENTS! So reverse what I said, “scientifically, this is simply, humanly true!”  Let me prove it, in a simplified way, as I am not a scientist.

From conception, our brain develops a hundred billion neurons, or cells that begin to build the raw material of the mind by creating connections called synapses. A synapse is a connection between two brain cells that enables the cells to communicate with one another. By age three, each of your hundred billion neurons have formed fifteen thousand synaptic connections with other neurons. During the next ten years or so, your brain refines, focuses, and begins to ignore some of these connections. The stronger synaptic connections get only stronger, while the weaker connections simply break and die. By the time you wake up on your sixteenth birthday, half your network is gone. What remains is a unique network of connections that represent your talents.

Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton, in their book, Now, Discover Your Strengths (The Free Press, 2001) define talents as our “recurring pattern of thought, feeling, or behavior.” Your talents, your strongest synaptic connections, are the most important raw material for building your strengths. Strengths?

YES! WHAT YOU ARE NATURALLY GOOD AT!  

So you see, it is impossible not to be good at something! We are all unique. We are all born with talents. Unfortunately, many of us walk through life without ever really knowing what our innate talents are. Instead, from birth, we are told about all the things that are “wrong with us.” Therefore, we focus our time and energy on fixing our weaknesses only to yield mediocre results in return. We lose all sense of identity, become confused about who we are, and develop self-limiting beliefs and perceptions about ourselves, which sets us up to fail or not try!

Why Know Thy Talents?

It is not about who you are not.

It is who you are.

It is not about what you need to fix.

It is what you strengthen.

It is not about what you did wrong.

It is what you do right.

It is not about learning something new.

It is what you naturally do.

It is not about a situation.

It is your destination.

-Beckie Jorgensen

Believe me!  I know all too well, how at a young age, I constantly compared myself to family members and other people and it caused me to wonder, "Would I ever be good at anything?"  I desperately wanted to be good at something, whether musically, artistically or at a sport.

BE CONFIDENT. Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others & wishing to be something we aren’t. Everybody has their own strengths & weaknesses, and it is only when you accept, everything you are & everything you aren’t, that you will truly succeed in life. – Ritu Ghatourey

I continuously searched, trying different things, until I discovered my talent as a long distance runner in High School. But, as I was laid-up in a hospital bed for a week my Freshman year in College with a severe kidney infection, I came to the realization that my “legs” and the ability to run wasn’t necessarily a “talent” that would carry me through life. By Sophomore year, I had switched my major from Sports Medicine to Social Work. I graduated, went on to Graduate School, and became an Child and Adolescent Therapist. Three and a half years later, I found myself in the same place, wondering … am I really good at anything? As an adult, I reverted back to my search, just like I did as a child.

I researched different career fields, hoping to justify a career change, especially after taking out heavy school loans to complete a 2-year Master’s program, which I knew I would be paying back for the next 30 years.  However, I knew one thing, I loved working with people. But, I could not really nail down “why” being a Social Worker was not right for me. Ultimately, I chose the field of Human Resources and spent 15 years in this career. Until about 2 years ago, when once again, I found myself in that same place, wondering…

That was, until September 2014, when I took StrengthsFinder and invested in Coaching. Yep, at 42 years old, two months shy of becoming 43, I discovered my natural born talents.

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – C.S. Lewis

I didn’t just discover my talents, put my StrengthsFinder report in a drawer, and move on. No, it was much, much, much more than that. I began a journey of self-discovery to learn how to apply my talents to my personal and professional life. Not only did I study the research, read books, invest in coaching, and study successful people, I observed and studied myself. My life!

 What did I gain from this? ANSWERS!

This is why in April of 2015 (a year ago this month); I became a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach. Because, like many of you, I spent many years searching, trying different things, and asking myself the hard questions … all in the attempt to discover one thing, “What am I really good at?” But, this journey has answered much more than just, "What are my talents?"

It revealed to me…My PURPOSE in life!

In both my personal (mom, daughter, friend, partner, colleague) and professional roles (coach, consultant, educator, trainer, writer), my purpose is to inspire, motivate and empower people to discover their natural talents, turn them into strengths and take action to maximize their gifts to be the best of who they were born to be (personally and professionally).

Hence, why I recently published my book: Live Your Life: The Art of Leveraging Your Strengths to Live Your Purpose. Are you ready to find YOUR answers? To learn more and connect with me, please visit: beckiejorgensen.com.

Coming soon: THE TRUTH ~ Myth #2: I MUST FIX MY WEAKNESSES

Why Know Thy Talents?

It is not about who you are not.

It is who you are.

It is not about what you need to fix.

It is what you strengthen.

It is not about what you did wrong.

It is what you do right.

It is not about learning something new.

It is what you naturally do.

It is not about a situation.

It is your destination.

 – Beckie Jorgensen,Certified Strengths Coach

Expanding Your Strengths: The Next Level

Theme pairing is one of my favorite exercises when coaching clients who have taken Clifton StrengthsFinder or StrengthsFinder 2.0, and are ready to up their level of understanding to turn their talents into strengths. Doing theme pairing has also given me greater insight into answering my 5 key questions: What do I do? How do I do it? Why do I do it? What makes me unique? and What are my needs?

This summary is excerpts from the Kindle book Expanding Your Strengths by Curt Liesveld, “Your talents do not exist in isolation. You are not just one thing or five things. You use various talents to respond to different situations, and you frequently use several themes at once, whether you know it or not. The more you examine theme dynamics in your life, the more you will understand how your talents make you who you are.”

Theme pairing takes the top 5 talents from StrengthsFinder (if you have your expanded top 34 report you can choose as many as you like) and pairs them together. For the purpose of demonstration, I am using the top 5 talents sequence to walk you through the pairing steps.

Steps:

1. Talent #1 pair with #2, #3, #4, #5.
2. Talent #2 pair with #3, #4, #5
3. Talent #3 pair with #4, #5
4. Talent #4 pair with #5.

In addition to enhancing your own insights, theme pairing helps you examine how your talents can work with other people’s talents to form powerful and productive partnerships.

Expanding Your Strengths introduces you to theme dynamics and includes an interactive Web App which allows you to select theme pairings. If you are ready to take your knowledge to the next level, I highly recommend the Kindle version of Expanding Your Strengths that gives you a unique access code to the Web application. For more information click here: Expanding Your Strengths Amazon Link

My top 5 Talents are Strategic, Maximizer, Responsibility, Futuristic and Positivity. Here is what the pairing for these themes reveals:

1. Strategic + Maximizer = When considering future possibilities, I eliminate the bad to find the good and then sort through the good to find the best.
2. Strategic + Responsibility = Creatively conscientious, I am often aware of the multiplicity of ways in which I can provide service or help.
3. Strategic + Futuristic = My mind’s eye sees clear images of a better future and detects the best paths leading to future dreams.
4. Strategic + Positivity = I prefer to imagine and anticipate all the possibilities because it energizes me and clarifies what I do.
5.  Maximizer + Responsibility = I feel compelled to honor the commitments I make to others and to meet the standards of excellence I set for myself.
6. Maximizer + Futuristic = When I dream about my future, it usually includes me getting better at what I do well and doing more of what I do best.
7.  Maximizer + Positivity = I choose to focus on good rather than evil and on strength rather than weakness, and when I do, it creates energy and hope.
8.  Responsibility + Futuristic = I will make a serious commitment to someone today if it will help my vision become a reality tomorrow.
9.  Responsibility + Positivity = I am serious about the commitments I make to others, not from dutiful obligation, but as a joyful servant.
10. Futuristic + Positivity = My vision has a better chance of becoming reality if I use my emotional energy and enthusiasm while forming it.

Theme pairing is powerful and the more you examine your theme dynamics in your life, the more you will understand how to turn your talents into strengths to make greater sense of who you are.

“The key to intentionally using your talents to achieve higher performance, happiness, fulfillment and success is to turn talents into strengths.” – Beckie Jorgensen

Thinking about hiring a coach? Haven’t taken StrengthsFinder yet and would like too? I would love to chat with you. Go to www.beckiejorgensen.com and you can either fill out the Contact form or complete the pop-up window (if your pop up blocker is on, click Define Your Purpose on the top Menu Bar) for my special BONUS to purchase a StrengthsFinder Code and receive a complimentary 45 minute Strategy Session with me!

Confront Your Real Story Part 4: Living Out Your Purpose to Leave a Legacy

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life…don't let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs.

Our innate talents are the seeds of our purpose in life developed at birth. However, it takes nurturing our talents into strengths to fully discover and understand our true calling. We all have talents, which are our gifts to the world. And when used to serve others leaves our footprints to follow.

What is your purpose? What legacy will you leave behind for your children, your children’s children, the community, the World?

Although this question may stump you, cause anxiety, or make you uncomfortable, I discovered the process of answering it became much easier once I identified by innate talents with the Clifton StrengthsFinder assessment. Then, I was able to confidently answer these 5 questions and I knew I had uncovered my “WHY”:

1. What do I do?
2. How do I do it?
3. Why do I do what I do?
4. What makes me unique?
5. What do I need from others?

Each of us has a purpose that is unique. I believe that leaving my legacy does not have to be an act of grandeur, or defined by the amount of money in my bank account, or by being designated as “famous.” Though, that is okay too. My legacy is driven by me intentionally using my strengths to make a difference with one, maybe two, things I do every day. It is about the one person I inspired, the one idea that solved another person’s problem, or the one act of service that helped a person in my community.

Simply put, it is about how I use my strengths to be my best self and positively make a difference in even a small corner of my World and those around me. By declaring my life purpose, I have, undoubtedly, created a meaningful life.

So ask yourself, what is one phrase you would want to be written on your tombstone, or be remembered by at family reunions, or celebrated for on the anniversary of your death? This is the one phrase that family and friends will remember, cherish, and love you for long after your passing.

I discovered that the key is to create your own legacy today. Don't wait for others to define your legacy after death. The power of knowing today what your purpose is gives you the opportunity, no matter your age, to create a life of joy, happiness, fulfillment, and success while living in the present moment. Live your life now, don't wait till tomorrow.

“You don't get to choose how you're going to die, or when. You can only decide how you're going to live now.” – Joan Baez

My purpose:

“I want to inspire others to never give away their dreams, passions or HOPE!” – Beckie Jorgensen

Are you struggling to define your life purpose? I can help. I have created a special coaching program just for you, The Art of Leveraging Your Strengths to Live Your Life Purpose.

For more information: please visit www.beckiejorgensen.com

What is Your Life Purpose? Do You Know?

CLARITY ~ CONFIDENCE ~ CALM

I was asked this question recently, “How would someone know that you purposefully and intentionally develop and live your strengths?” It took a lot of strategic thinking on my part to figure out a way to not only respond, but to demonstrate in writing what “purposefully and intentionally” living your strengths meant. I took out my StrengthsFinder Insight Report and, once again, completed the activity of underlining the phrases and words that most resonated with me in each of my top 5 Talent Themes. This was about the third or fourth time I completed this exact task. But, this time, I viewed my report through a different lens.

I began to see patterns that I did not see before by simply referring to the question at hand. I dissected my report into categories: What I do, How I do it, and Why. As I began to type out the phrases and words under each category, I realized something was missing. There were highlighted phrases that did not fit within those 3 categories, but were important to me. After studying each theme again, the realization of my fourth category became clear, What makes me unique?

I remembered a phrase my Alignment Coach, Kyle, used to refer to a lot. He called it the 3 C’s: Clarity, Confidence, and Calm. In that moment, I felt an overwhelming sense of emotion. The answers I have been looking for within were right there in front of my face: my WHY, my PURPOSE, how I use my strengths to be my BEST SELF, and most importantly what makes me UNIQUE. All of a sudden, the sense of clarity, confidence, and calm rushed through my soul. I had reached yet another level of transformation.

I replied to the question asked of me, “How would someone know that you purposefully and intentionally develop and live your strengths?” by sharing in a document what is written below.

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Living Intentionally: How to Succeed with Strengths

July 28, 2015

www.beckiejorgensen.com

My Top 5 Talents: Strategic ~ Maximizer ~ Responsibility ~ Futuristic ~ Positivity

What I Do: Working Within My Strengths

• I discover each person’s unique qualities, interests, and strengths. (Maximizer)
• I identify and recognize the differences that make each person unique. (Maximizer)
• I motivate people to transform something good into something utterly superb.(Maximizer)
• I move people to take action. (Responsibility)
• I inspire and lift the spirits of people around me. (Positivity)
• I offer a unique perspective on events, people, challenges, and proposals. (Strategic)
• I position a person for success once I know what drives him/her to take action and produce outstanding results. (Maximizer)

How I Do It: Intentionally Using My Strengths

• I talk to, observe, and study successful people who have produced excellent results to identify what inspires them. (Maximizer)
• I associate with those who share my passion for taking something good and making it better.
• I listen to people and do not discount or belittle their emotions, ideas, or reactions to events. (Positivity)
• I speak with precise phrases and terminology and am forthright and plainspoken. (Strategic)
• I propose alternative courses of action, different ways of doing things, and generate innovative ideas. (Strategic)
• I inspire, encourage, and hold people account to take action to start projects, launch initiatives, and/or set goals and measurable outcomes. (Strategic)
• I work persistently until I can deliver on my promises. (Responsibility)

Why I Do What I Do: Aligning My Strengths to My Purpose

• I have a natural fondness for human beings. (Positivity)
• I think about what my life could be like in the future. (Futuristic)
• I work hard to breathe life into my big dreams. (Futuristic)
• I am compelled to make a meaningful and lasting impact on the planet. (Positivity)
• I desire to live a legacy of great value and worth. (Positivity)

What Makes Me Unique? The Interplay of My Talents, Now Turned Into Strengths
Strategic

• I express myself with ease and grace.
• I love to collaborate with others and enjoy group brainstorming.
• I have acquired special skills and knowledge to coach, consult and help others.
• I notice new as well as unusual configurations in facts, evidence, or data.
• I am fascinated by problems that puzzle, confuse, or frustrate most people.
• My subconscious mind continuously absorbs information and creates possible options.
• I see opportunities, trends, and solutions before others see them.

Maximizer

• I am aware of what I do well and what I do not do well.
• I trust my instincts.
• I refuse to risk losing confidence in myself by tackling assignments for which I lack the talent, even if I possess some relevant knowledge, skill, or experience.
• I spend my energy on what I know I do well and manage around my weaknesses.
• I learn, grow, and build on what I naturally do best.

Responsibility

• I am open and honest about who I am, what I have done, and what I cannot do.
• I authentically communicate to others my strengths and limitations.
• I am hardwired to do what I say I will do.
• I do more than just “live up” to my commitments. I go the extra mile.
• My work ethic is very important to me and is as much a matter of conscience as it is in just simply doing tasks.
• I have a strong need and desire to do what is right, honest, true, correct, proper, and accurate.

Futuristic

• I possess a high level of skill/knowledge about specialized issues, subjects, processes, or programs, such as talent development, leadership skills, business challenges, and human resources processes.
• I channel my mental and physical energies toward what I can accomplish in the days, months, and years ahead.
• I concentrate better when I set short-term objectives.

Positivity

• In the end, I want my life to have mattered.

All Rights Reserved, © 2015 Beckie Jorgensen
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The lesson here is if you have taken the StrengthsFinder Assessment, do not put your StrengthsFinder Report in a drawer and forget about it. It is a significant tool that when studied, read over and over, and action steps carried out in your daily activities, can transform your life. Even those of us who are Certified Strengths Coaches, who eat, breath, live and teach strengths-based development to clients need to continuously learn, grow, and develop our own strengths every day. Self-development is a continuous process. One of the best tools to help you is probably sitting in a drawer somewhere near you. If you have not taken StrengthsFinder and want to learn more, I encourage you to connect with me.

I have made a commitment to myself that every Sunday, I will pull my report out and, week after week, read it again and again and again…I know this one intentional task will stop my own limiting beliefs, keep me focused and on track to achieve my goals, and allow me to show up every day as my BEST SELF!

“God gives each of us special talents and gifts. It is both our privilege and our duty to make the most of them.” – Robert E. Allen

ARE YOU READY TO TAKE ACTION? Do you want to find your purpose within? Do you want to show up every day as your BEST SELF? Haven't taken StrengthsFinder 2.0 and want to learn more? Then I would love to connect with you!

I invite you to connect and follow with me on Facebook, LinkedIn, Google+, and/or Twitter. 

Visit: www.beckiejorgensen.com

Radio Interview: BECKIE JORGENSEN-Leading With Strengths

Click on link: http://businessinnovatorsmagazine.com/beckie-jorgensen-leading-with-strengths/

Beckie Jorgensen | Stop, Collaborate,

Women of Distinction Magazine: My Story

I am honored to have been asked to participate in this publication. My story is on page 70.

Click here to view: Women of Distinction Magazine: My Story http://go.epublish4me.com/ebook/ebook?id=10084112#/70

RECLAIM FREEDOM: DEVELOP YOUR UNIQUE STRENGTHS

When we were conceived and growing in our mother's womb, we were "free." There were no expectations, no doubt, no fear...we had the freedom to just "be." The day we were born, we were stripped of our freedom. From day one, we were exposed to societal expectations born out of our ancestors, as well as limiting beliefs, judgments, fear, worry, doubt, biases, and so much more. The focus growing up was on what we couldn't do not what we could, on our weaknesses not our strengths, and on what we’re expected to "be" not what makes us unique.

There are a few "humans" who overcame fear of rejection, went against the norm, and searched for their inner "truth." They discovered their talents, turned those talents into strengths, and aimed for a higher purpose in life. These are our great leaders of the World who had a vision for what the future “could be:” George Washington, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Jr., Rosa Parks, Warren Buffet…just to name a few.

It is time to reclaim your freedom. We were all born with talents and put on this earth to be unique. Sharpen your mind, develop your innate gifts, and break free of the limitations you have been swaddled in since birth. It is not about power, money, status or prestige. It is about you, your innate gifts, your uniqueness, and your own power to be the best of who you were born to be. Discover, accept, and strengthen your own inner self to re-gain freedom, happiness, and fulfillment.

In return, be a servant leader and teach others to lead by your example. Let our children be born into the universal truths of goodness, uniqueness, and empower them to serve others by being their best selves! Only then will we truly live out our personal destiny and leave behind our true legacy. Go forth and make an impact on the world, seek to strengthen "humankind," rather than destroy the uniqueness of human existence. - All rights reserved (c) 2015 Beckie Jorgensen